Blotched by IMPERFECTION

MOOD: UNHAPPY.
MENTAL STATE: UNSTABLE.

Two years ago, I confessed that I am a perfectionist. That confession was a mere facade of the imperfection that plagued my very being and life. I have always been the AVERAGE person. There have yet to be the OUTSTANDING person that I CAN become. I am so frustrated. It is said that one has the power to control one's behaviour and emotions. Why is it that I have the capacity to take charge yet my hands are slipping off the reins of control? I have tried to console myself that every human is imperfect. But, that does not mean I must remain imperfect. I have seen and heard fellow mankind achieving near perfection. Or at least proved to themselves that they are not the MOST imperfect amongst us, inferior humans. I have not tried hard enough. I have not struggled YET. My life is not yet miserable. I have always believed that sunshine/rainbow (brightness/luck/happiness) would appear after the storms/rain. I am not saying that I do not appreciate my current state of being. I am CONTENTED. Nonetheless, the contentment has made me satiated and displeased. I know that this world is not forever but I must be HAPPY with my self. I am NOT. I understand that I deserve what I have now. I need to ACCEPT and BUCK UP. JIAYOH!