LIFE's too SHORT for REGRETS???

HEY! HAO JIU BU JIAN! HAHA!

Before I start my post proper, I want to WISH my friend, SY, a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! You may not want to celebrate the day but it is this day that made it possible for me to meet a special person like you. Whatever the troubles you may face, may you be blessed with as much happiness that overshadows all your worries.

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY TO SOON YING!!!

Oh...and a little snippet of my continuing obssession with S-H-A-O-W-E-I. He is so cute! Aww...he broke down during the previous episode of SNTGD. Sighs! Well, when work is play, you do get stressed if it is too much. Anyway, hope S-H-A-O-W-E-I will manage his time better. He needs a LIFE beyond entertaining others.

OK. On to the topic of this post. Lately, I have been reflecting a lot on my life and my expected future. Upon reflection, I realised that time has no brake; it keeps going forward. I'm already 18 and 2 years on, I'll be an adult. I know that there is no time for regrets but I must acknowledge them to move on. I want to meet all those whom I have hurt or who have hurt me. My wish here may be asking too much of FATE. Even TIME changes people's perspective of others and lets people forget certain aspects of their life. Still, like Earl in the television sitcom "My Name Is Earl", I believe that karma depends on your actions and your past. Not only that, I want to show my care for those I treasure but sometimes it is just easier said than done. How can one express their love for someone knowing that it may mean lowering one's pride or simply be ignored? Disease and death are prevalent in today's society where the world becomes even more used up physically and naturally. I do not want to lose anyone close to me without showing my care for them. Also, I have never clinch any great achievements. This is something that I feel make my life less meaningful. I'll be ready to leave this treacherous world when I sort out my regrets.

Time is running and I may not be ready.

Oh well. It's time to buck up and jiayoh!

Blotched by IMPERFECTION

MOOD: UNHAPPY.
MENTAL STATE: UNSTABLE.

Two years ago, I confessed that I am a perfectionist. That confession was a mere facade of the imperfection that plagued my very being and life. I have always been the AVERAGE person. There have yet to be the OUTSTANDING person that I CAN become. I am so frustrated. It is said that one has the power to control one's behaviour and emotions. Why is it that I have the capacity to take charge yet my hands are slipping off the reins of control? I have tried to console myself that every human is imperfect. But, that does not mean I must remain imperfect. I have seen and heard fellow mankind achieving near perfection. Or at least proved to themselves that they are not the MOST imperfect amongst us, inferior humans. I have not tried hard enough. I have not struggled YET. My life is not yet miserable. I have always believed that sunshine/rainbow (brightness/luck/happiness) would appear after the storms/rain. I am not saying that I do not appreciate my current state of being. I am CONTENTED. Nonetheless, the contentment has made me satiated and displeased. I know that this world is not forever but I must be HAPPY with my self. I am NOT. I understand that I deserve what I have now. I need to ACCEPT and BUCK UP. JIAYOH!

THE C.U.T.E. CONFESSION

HEY!

Before I start on the subject of this entry, I must announce a PUBLIC APOLOGY to all those who witnessed my HIGH moment on 3rd March 2007. Oh well, when one is feeling EXTREMELY happy, she may just be a little overboard with others. So, I am SORRY!

OKAY. There have been suspicions that I may be faking the persona I am with others. The REAL TRUTH is: the ones whom I am very close to, are the people who are the priviledged lot to witness the UNPOLISHED human being that I am. One of the signs that you are amongst the priviledged lot is that you have seen the ADORABLY yet SICKENINGLY CUTE me. HAHA!

I have researched the definition of the word and here are the few explanations of the word that I think suits ME:

1) [From WordNet]

The adjective cute has 2 meanings:
Meaning #1: attractive especially by means of smallness or prettiness or quaintness

Meaning #2: obviously contrived to charm

2) [From Answers.com]

WORD HISTORY
Cute is a good example of how a shortened form of a word can take on a life of its own, developing a sense that dissociates it from the longer word from which it was derived. Cute was originally a shortened form of acute in the sense “keenly perceptive or discerning, shrewd.” In this sense cute is first recorded in a dictionary published in 1731. Probably cute came to be used as a term of approbation for things demonstrating acuteness, and so it went on to develop its own sense of “pretty, fetching,” first recorded with reference to “gals” in 1838.

3) [Adapted from Wikipedia]

Cuteness is a delicate and attractive kind of beauty commonly associated with youth, innocence, and helplessness.
Infantile personality traits, such as playfulness, fragility, helplessness, innocence, affectionate behavior and a need to be nurtured are also generally considered cute.


Alright. Sighs! How could a possibly more mature human being like me confess to having "infantile personality traits"?

Foremost, EVERY HUMAN is IMPERFECT. So, a mature person may not technically be devoid of certain immature behaviour.

Next, being mature is a responsibility in itself. In a sense, it is a burden imposed by society for one to behave practically and rationally. Displaying cute forms of behaviour can be said as an escape from reality.

Lastly, cuteness is something that I naturally possess until I became aware of the terms "prejudice" and "discrimination". Even CUTENESS was something I did not know applied to my character till I was "kindly informed" in the year 2001.


ARGHH! It feels SO weird confessing to being ME. Anyway, if the cute factor in me is really DISTURBING, I don't mind being more solemn and reserved in future. Still, I cannot guarantee that cuteness will not be one of my personality traits.

RESULTS OUT!

ARGHH!

Well, I have just received my 'A' Level results. Since I am still in denial, I will not disclose the details of the result to anyone. All that I am going to reveal is that I can apply for a place in the local universities. I am so IRRITATED. My results reveal (yet again) my laziness and lack of self-discipline. Oh well. No use crying over split milk, right?

OK. On to happier stuff. Shaowei is SOOO CUTE! Right, like as if he's not ALREADY CUTE! Anyway, I ADORE 5566 now. I mean, they are rather rude and boastful at times but their brotherly bond as well as their dedication to their fans has captured my admiration for them. I hope that they would not disband in the near future especially with Renfu becoming a new father. Oh yah. I think Shaowei and Renfu make a cute pair. They are so SWEET together.

I have been staying at home (as usual) for the past few days. Basically cooking and taking care of the YOUNGEST one. HAHA! The YOUNGEST one has her FIRST BAND 1. I am SO PROUD of her. GO IYA!

Now that I have had my result slip, I need to make resolutions that I MUST complete this year (or before I pass on):

1. To ACE my future tests and exams.
2. To be MORE responsible (to myself).
3. To stay FOCUSED on practical goals.

Alright. That's about it. *I WANT TO BUY A J-STAR MAGAZINE*