Trying to find my wings...

Hello! Have not blogged in a while. I need a vision break. SERIOUSLY. I mean, I need to go out and have a life. But...

I NEED A JOB. OH WELL!

I want to be alone. I want to forget what I need to remember. I do not want to accept reality. It is true that the world will soon end. But, it does not mean that we should wait for that day. Does it mean that if you cannot achieve happiness, you must share your sufferings with others? I want to smile in death, knowing that I have lead a purposeful life. How can I when I feel restricted to do so? I feel like I am clipping my own wings. In fact, my wings never had to chance to develop. Even if I am given freedom now, I will fall and injure myself. I want to know that I would not be hurt again. I want to know that I can think and do things for myself. There can be no answers to my questions. There can be no solace to my dilemma. I can only be patient. I need some time alone. I need to be alone.