the RUSH to ADULTHOOD

Counting down...

2008-07-24T06:52:00.000-07:00

Hello!

I'm back to blogging. I have decided to dedicated some time to post entries. After all, blogging does help in my writing. Today, I surfed through BBC website and found out that adopted babies from Guatemala may well be stolen from their relunctant birh mothers. I have considered adopting a baby after my future has stabilised in the event that I cannot conceive. It is ridiculous to note that even babies can be a source of business transactions.

There is about two weeks left to school. I cannot help counting down. I am so bored at all. There is nothing for me to do except eat, use my laptop and sleep. If not for my laptop, I just I would have decomposed at home. Still, I am a little apprehensive about school starting.

I saw Corner With Love today - the taiwanese idol drama starring Barbie Hsu and Show Luo. If not for Show's ever amusing antics that penetrate through his acting, I think the show would be just like any other romantic idol drama. I added a new song to my collection of chinese lyrics. Haha! I am planning to ace my chinese.

Till next time...

童话

2008-07-22T08:39:00.000-07:00

这个生活是一个梦。我不知道为什么我觉得每一个事情是不真的发生。如果，我的生活是一个童话，我要变成一个公主。等了时候我的王子出现。

How can we women not tend towards feminism? No matter how much equality womenkind have achieved throughout these ages, there is no end to discrimination and certain disadvantages that apply only to the womenkind. It is unfair. Although it is true that women cannot fully take men's place and vice versa, can't the world be fairer to womenfolk? After all, we are the other half of men.

Having been to a girls's school does not make me like womenfolk any more than I used to. Still, compared to men, I still much prefer being amongst women. If there can ever be a male species who would show me that they care for the womenfolk as their partner and not slave or counterpart, I would have less worries of the future.

Till next time...

SUMMER 2008 - the period of my firsts

2008-07-21T07:33:00.000-07:00

Hi! It's been a long time since I blogged.

I have seen moved on. Life has changed. Two semester have gone.

No more crazy over 5566 or 183 club. Even my liking for Fahrenheit has simmered down. Haha! I am currently interested in the latest Taiwanese sensation - 棒棒堂. Yeah. Oh wells!

These three months (or more accurately, two months and one week!) have been pretty exciting. I had my first job working at John Little sale (24th June - 6th July). I went on my first ferry ride which was headed for Batam. I went to Popular Bookstore sale in May and only yesterday, I went for the National Library Board booksale. All these first events may be momentary but very meaningful experiences.

In about three weeks, school is going to start. I anticipate meeting new friends and learning new things. Again, I did not arrange my timetable with anyone. Anyway, I hope to be able to participate more actively in school.

Time has taught me not to judge a book by its cover. Time has also taught me that time does not always alter the things around us. It is whether the person wants to change or not. I anticipate time with not much time on my side. I am getting older yet life has just begun for me. I shall try to treasure the time I have more conscientously.

till next time....

haha! new post since like FOREVER

2007-11-30T01:08:00.000-08:00

I am currently at home. Yupz. I have another month of staying at home. I want to work. But. is there such a short term job that gives me enough money and has appropriate timing? Oh well. I feel so much like an adult lately. It makes me feel so detached from who I am. I do not know. I want to play sorts but I don't know whether I have the commitment to do so. I am not ready to commit to anything. Maybe I am afraid to do so.

Never mind. Oh. I am currently insane about Jiro. Nope, not the one from the Japanese group GLAY but Wang Dong Cheng from Fahrenheit. HAHA! He is so ke ai, can. Anyway, I am quite into Fahrenheit nowadays. 183 club is always missing in action and 5566 is currently adopting a low profile. Still, 5566's newest album is coming out next year!!! So is Fahrenheit's 2nd album. YAY! I may go and get both of the albums. Hmm...I need to save money. HAHA!

Ok. I am going off now. To watch Ko-one. HAHA!

SICK princess

2007-06-23T07:58:00.000-07:00

hello!

I'm sick. I've been coughing for the past few days. Sighs! I know that I SHOULD NOT snack on chocolates and chips but I'm HUNGRY all the time. I think I need to get out more often. Nagging's the order of the day around here. It is not much different if I were to get out. I just watched the Princess Diaries Movie. YAY! I am such a princess. HAHA! My dream is always to be a princess. A lofty dream but a dream that keeps me alive and real. I am a princess in my own right. I just lack a tiara and an official title. I believe that being a princess is all about being true to oneself and having the grace as well as poise to do so.

What's with getting a degree, anyway? SERIOUSLY. Besides getting a well-paying job and a clever husband, I don't see the value of that particular certificate. Well, I am seriously grousing about the ever-present need to self-improve yourself through education in Singapore. WHY? It's because EDUCATION = MONEY = HAPPINESS.

Let me justify the above deduction.

One needs to be educated to secure a job that pays well in Singapore where human resource is ABUNDANT. Note that the abundance of human beings in a small island means that the talented, educated and unique individuals are the ones that STAND OUT.

One needs money to basically operate his daily needs. This is because the world is getting too globalised and technology-dependent. A poor man has to struggle with maintaining the utility bills (if he has a lodging) , his food and drink and to maintain a secure income. It would be even worse if he has to maintain a family. A beggar may be happy to sleep in the streets but I don't think he is the least bit happy about his situation. All the "free" things in the world have to be paid with money. Water, natural produce and even fresh air are no longer FREE.

Happiness is indeed relative. One can be happy helping others. That does not need money. Wait a minute. It does. Volunteering may be a selfless and satisfying venture. But, one needs to have money to support the transport fees needed to travel to the place that needs volunteer help. Even online volunteers need to sign up for internet subscription to actively volunteer via the Web.

I heard that any job advertisement requiring a degree actually prioritize applicants with an honours degree or better. Obviously, I would do the same if I were the employer. Still, consider if one can be happy after achieving the degree for a job to later pursue happiness.

Alright. I am seriously whining now. I cannot imagine why there can be people who are so proud to have studied hard and prove themselves clever in the academic area. Can't there be other ways of measuring cleverness in a person? Am I stupid or less able if I am unable to enter into a university?

If only miracles exist. If only I knew.

NEED A JOB!

2007-06-11T01:46:00.000-07:00

HELLO!

HAha. I am still at home. I need a JOB. I want to get out. OHKAY. I shall stop whining. I just finished searching for jobs online. None of them particularly suit me. Anyway, I need to start calling up schools in the area. I wonder if I can get a job by this week. Woah, a CHALLENGE posed by ME to ME. HAHA. This font is so cool.

By the way, I am currently crazy about the taiwanese girl group, S.H.E. Hebe is so cute! I think the group is way more talented than 5566 although a number of their songs are "borrowed" from original singers. Still, their original songs are not bad. Despite so, I am not keen on buying their newest album, PLAY. Other than the song - Zhong Guo Hua; the other songs are not so appealing.
** I love their song, SUPERMODEL!!!**

I heard a bad news that 183club might be losing a member. Sighs! Shaowei is so wrong in his decision to join that band. There is not much news about 5566. Since SNTGD changed its format to indoor dancing, I cannot be bothered about keeping track of the show. WQYL is also rather boring since Shaowei is only on the SZDZ section. Nonetheless, I am really looking forward to their upcoming album(at least it is rumoured to be releasd this year).

Arghh! I hate having to anticipate my future. I don't know. Being unable to know anything is such an INSECURE feeling.

I NEED TO FIND A JOB...............................................

BUBBLE happyness!

2007-06-04T23:50:00.000-07:00

HAHA! I've purposely misspelt a word as seen above. Oh well. Feeling rather contented now. Thanks to the ever continuing support from my LOVED ones. I might consider taking the polytechnic route. I'm doing SCIENCE! HAHA! I'm going to be a Science convert. Well, I might try out doing food technology. I would love manipulating organic chemicals to invent NEW, HALAL creations. Maybe, I could come up with halal gourmet dishes. Still, my dearest mum would like me to persevere to enter an university. Sighs!

I'm PISSED being a girl. I know this is the ??????th time that I've whined about me being a girl. But, being a girl just has its disadvantages. I mean, we have to be discrete and refined yet strong and assertive to survive in this world. WHATEVER! I am so not liking the part about having to be refined. I suppose I have to focus on the benefits of being a female.

It's rather HOT today. Nonetheless, a fine day. I went to the AIRPORT today. YAY! I managed to view airplanes at the viewing galleries. Nothing interesting but it was fun exploring the airport in the morning. THANKS to the person who willingly accompanied me that day! ^-^

I want to blow bubbles at the park. Bubbles are such a representation of happiness. So delicate and technicolour. HAHA! Alright! I'm going to sign off. I have to promote my abilities...

IF I WAS GIVEN A CHANCE TO RELIVE MY LIFE, I WOULD GIVE THAT CHANCE UP TO GAIN TRUE HAPPINESS IN THIS LIFE.

IF I WOULD BE GIVEN 3 WISHES, THEY WOULD BE FOR THE ONES I LOVE.

IF THERE IS NO MORE LOVE IN THIS WORLD, THERE WOULD NO MORE BE ME.

YEARGH!

2007-06-02T06:15:00.000-07:00

FIRST, I am PISSED. How can another person manipulate the life of another? How can some being get thrilled by making others suffer? How can we protect ourselves if we are only human? Why do we think that our lives are unfair when we are better off than others? Why can't there be real peace? When will I learn that life is a practical joke that plays on one's conscience and responsibilities? When will I stop being bothered by the incessant questions that plague my existance?

SHUT UP!

Sighs! I really need a job. I'm practically wasting my life away. I don't know. I'm worried about how I may be perceived. But then, aren't all humans vulnerable to malignant perceptions? I am not good enough. Can I ever achieve something? I need to get out. I need to run away. Can I? Is there really a true escape? I cannot escape. There is no such thing as an escape. If there is, no one would contemplate suicide. Is suicide even an escape? Death is an end. It is not an escape. An escape is a temporary diversion from the troubles and frustration that one faces. Death cannot be an escape for it is truly an end.

I cannot get a job now. I do not have any relevant industry skills. I want to work flexible hours. I need to find experience. But how? OK. I am really depressed and confused.

WHAT I REALLY NEED IS AN ESCAPE!

D.I.S.A.P.P.O.I.N.T.E.D

2007-05-26T22:19:00.000-07:00

Trying to find my wings...

2007-04-13T23:33:00.000-07:00

Hello! Have not blogged in a while. I need a vision break. SERIOUSLY. I mean, I need to go out and have a life. But...

I NEED A JOB. OH WELL!

I want to be alone. I want to forget what I need to remember. I do not want to accept reality. It is true that the world will soon end. But, it does not mean that we should wait for that day. Does it mean that if you cannot achieve happiness, you must share your sufferings with others? I want to smile in death, knowing that I have lead a purposeful life. How can I when I feel restricted to do so? I feel like I am clipping my own wings. In fact, my wings never had to chance to develop. Even if I am given freedom now, I will fall and injure myself. I want to know that I would not be hurt again. I want to know that I can think and do things for myself. There can be no answers to my questions. There can be no solace to my dilemma. I can only be patient. I need some time alone. I need to be alone.

LIFE's too SHORT for REGRETS???

2007-03-29T01:22:00.000-07:00

HEY! HAO JIU BU JIAN! HAHA!

Before I start my post proper, I want to WISH my friend, SY, a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! You may not want to celebrate the day but it is this day that made it possible for me to meet a special person like you. Whatever the troubles you may face, may you be blessed with as much happiness that overshadows all your worries.

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY TO SOON YING!!!

Oh...and a little snippet of my continuing obssession with S-H-A-O-W-E-I. He is so cute! Aww...he broke down during the previous episode of SNTGD. Sighs! Well, when work is play, you do get stressed if it is too much. Anyway, hope S-H-A-O-W-E-I will manage his time better. He needs a LIFE beyond entertaining others.

OK. On to the topic of this post. Lately, I have been reflecting a lot on my life and my expected future. Upon reflection, I realised that time has no brake; it keeps going forward. I'm already 18 and 2 years on, I'll be an adult. I know that there is no time for regrets but I must acknowledge them to move on. I want to meet all those whom I have hurt or who have hurt me. My wish here may be asking too much of FATE. Even TIME changes people's perspective of others and lets people forget certain aspects of their life. Still, like Earl in the television sitcom "My Name Is Earl", I believe that karma depends on your actions and your past. Not only that, I want to show my care for those I treasure but sometimes it is just easier said than done. How can one express their love for someone knowing that it may mean lowering one's pride or simply be ignored? Disease and death are prevalent in today's society where the world becomes even more used up physically and naturally. I do not want to lose anyone close to me without showing my care for them. Also, I have never clinch any great achievements. This is something that I feel make my life less meaningful. I'll be ready to leave this treacherous world when I sort out my regrets.

Time is running and I may not be ready.

Oh well. It's time to buck up and jiayoh!

Blotched by IMPERFECTION

2007-03-06T02:26:00.000-08:00

MOOD: UNHAPPY.
MENTAL STATE: UNSTABLE.

Two years ago, I confessed that I am a perfectionist. That confession was a mere facade of the imperfection that plagued my very being and life. I have always been the AVERAGE person. There have yet to be the OUTSTANDING person that I CAN become. I am so frustrated. It is said that one has the power to control one's behaviour and emotions. Why is it that I have the capacity to take charge yet my hands are slipping off the reins of control? I have tried to console myself that every human is imperfect. But, that does not mean I must remain imperfect. I have seen and heard fellow mankind achieving near perfection. Or at least proved to themselves that they are not the MOST imperfect amongst us, inferior humans. I have not tried hard enough. I have not struggled YET. My life is not yet miserable. I have always believed that sunshine/rainbow (brightness/luck/happiness) would appear after the storms/rain. I am not saying that I do not appreciate my current state of being. I am CONTENTED. Nonetheless, the contentment has made me satiated and displeased. I know that this world is not forever but I must be HAPPY with my self. I am NOT. I understand that I deserve what I have now. I need to ACCEPT and BUCK UP. JIAYOH!

THE C.U.T.E. CONFESSION

2007-03-04T19:27:00.000-08:00

HEY!

Before I start on the subject of this entry, I must announce a PUBLIC APOLOGY to all those who witnessed my HIGH moment on 3rd March 2007. Oh well, when one is feeling EXTREMELY happy, she may just be a little overboard with others. So, I am SORRY!

OKAY. There have been suspicions that I may be faking the persona I am with others. The REAL TRUTH is: the ones whom I am very close to, are the people who are the priviledged lot to witness the UNPOLISHED human being that I am. One of the signs that you are amongst the priviledged lot is that you have seen the ADORABLY yet SICKENINGLY CUTE me. HAHA!

I have researched the definition of the word and here are the few explanations of the word that I think suits ME:

1) [From WordNet]

The adjective cute has 2 meanings:
Meaning #1: attractive especially by means of smallness or prettiness or quaintness

Meaning #2: obviously contrived to charm

2) [From Answers.com]

WORD HISTORY
Cute is a good example of how a shortened form of a word can take on a life of its own, developing a sense that dissociates it from the longer word from which it was derived. Cute was originally a shortened form of acute in the sense “keenly perceptive or discerning, shrewd.” In this sense cute is first recorded in a dictionary published in 1731. Probably cute came to be used as a term of approbation for things demonstrating acuteness, and so it went on to develop its own sense of “pretty, fetching,” first recorded with reference to “gals” in 1838.

3) [Adapted from Wikipedia]

Cuteness is a delicate and attractive kind of beauty commonly associated with youth, innocence, and helplessness.
Infantile personality traits, such as playfulness, fragility, helplessness, innocence, affectionate behavior and a need to be nurtured are also generally considered cute.

Alright. Sighs! How could a possibly more mature human being like me confess to having "infantile personality traits"?

Foremost, EVERY HUMAN is IMPERFECT. So, a mature person may not technically be devoid of certain immature behaviour.

Next, being mature is a responsibility in itself. In a sense, it is a burden imposed by society for one to behave practically and rationally. Displaying cute forms of behaviour can be said as an escape from reality.

Lastly, cuteness is something that I naturally possess until I became aware of the terms "prejudice" and "discrimination". Even CUTENESS was something I did not know applied to my character till I was "kindly informed" in the year 2001.

ARGHH! It feels SO weird confessing to being ME. Anyway, if the cute factor in me is really DISTURBING, I don't mind being more solemn and reserved in future. Still, I cannot guarantee that cuteness will not be one of my personality traits.

RESULTS OUT!

2007-03-02T19:13:00.000-08:00

ARGHH!

Well, I have just received my 'A' Level results. Since I am still in denial, I will not disclose the details of the result to anyone. All that I am going to reveal is that I can apply for a place in the local universities. I am so IRRITATED. My results reveal (yet again) my laziness and lack of self-discipline. Oh well. No use crying over split milk, right?

OK. On to happier stuff. Shaowei is SOOO CUTE! Right, like as if he's not ALREADY CUTE! Anyway, I ADORE 5566 now. I mean, they are rather rude and boastful at times but their brotherly bond as well as their dedication to their fans has captured my admiration for them. I hope that they would not disband in the near future especially with Renfu becoming a new father. Oh yah. I think Shaowei and Renfu make a cute pair. They are so SWEET together.

I have been staying at home (as usual) for the past few days. Basically cooking and taking care of the YOUNGEST one. HAHA! The YOUNGEST one has her FIRST BAND 1. I am SO PROUD of her. GO IYA!

Now that I have had my result slip, I need to make resolutions that I MUST complete this year (or before I pass on):

1. To ACE my future tests and exams.
2. To be MORE responsible (to myself).
3. To stay FOCUSED on practical goals.

Alright. That's about it. *I WANT TO BUY A J-STAR MAGAZINE*

TWO months of S-L-A-C-K-I-N-G...

2007-01-24T02:31:00.000-08:00

HEY!
It is a little more than two months since the end of my As and the start of my STUDY break! And...I am still jobless while most of my friends are either working or having spent their time CONSTRUCTIVELY! Well, I have been lazing about mostly at home but I did try to exercise the mental and physical capacities I have been endowed with. Mainly those exercises include blogging (in proper sentences), reading the newspaper (trying to understand the commentaries...there IS SERIOUSLY an URGENT need to CURB global warming) and COOKING!

YAYNESS! I have been cooking for my family and most of my "creations" turned out OKAY. Save for a few: a soggy mee goreng (my 1st attempt at frying noodles), a 'tough-to-bite' sambal ikan bilis and an oily vegetable soup. haha! Anyway, cooking is FUN! I have been trying to make soups and stir-fry/s but have not touched recipes that include cream, santan or is curry-based. Maybe, I shall try to cook fish curry. Oh, I managed to cook chicken feet! YAY! It turned out fine (though a little too pedas and wrinkly-looking). *WARNING: Chicken feet causing an explosive reaction when being fried in hot oil. My FIRST attempt to fry chicken feet resulted in an OILY kitchen.*

Anyway, staying at home is not too bad. I get to HONE my cooking skills and I get to ENHANCE my family ties. I need to leave now. I have to goreng 'Pakoras' for dinner. CHEERS!

A HAIRY INSPIRATION

2007-01-06T19:30:00.000-08:00

hello. I had my hair cut yesterday. Well, it's short and I look like a female Shaowei. That's not good by the way. I had asked the hairdresser to cut my hair according to a style that I saw in a hair styling magazine. The style was done on a Japanese model and it made her look delicate and innocent. The "produced" style on me turned out to be rather boyish. Not only that, I can 'shake' my hair like a ROCK STAR. Oh Well! I hope to outgrow this hair cut soon. The next haircut that I'll be doing MUST be DIFFERENT and NICE.

AND...
the haircut incident yesterday was not altogether a bad incident. Firstly, the hairdresser that attended to me was REALLY meticulous. She even gave me a HAIR WASH. (unfortunately though, she was not able to replicate the style I wanted properly) Secondly, she blow-dried my hair and did some finishing snips to make the style more COMPLETE. Thirdly, she set my new hair-style with a hair spray. In short, I was INSPIRED by her passionate approach towards her job. It makes me reflect that I should be as DEDICATED and ENTHUSIASTIC in undertaking my future career.

ANYWAY,
I am still ROTTING at home. I tried to apply for relief teaching at several schools. There's no reply yet so far. Oh, I also made a FRIENDSTER account. HAHA! I'm of legal age and thus legally created an account with Friendster. I need to EXERCISE. Hmm...maybe I shall jog...ONE FINE DAY...

NEXT WEEK is START of SCHOOL

2006-12-28T21:33:00.000-08:00

hey, I am still jobless and am at home. Tomorrow, I am going to meet up with one of my JC friends. I dunno if it'll be a fun outing but it beats staying at home all the time. Sunday is HARI RAYA AIDILADHA. YAY! (whatever, it is just another extension of the long holiday I'm having...) The classified ads recently have been advertising some really OKAY jobs but their requirements are a tad OVER mine.

Anyway, my youngest sis is going to school next week. So, me and other sis is trying to cheer up the LAST (for the youngest sis) few days of the hols for her. I dun exactly know what to do. Currently, I've come up with "GAME-NIGHT"- a night of playing games. Oh well! Other sis is now playing SNAP with younger sis. It so brings back memories of my childhood when my other sis and elder bro came out with creative and funky ways to keep ourselves occupied during the holidays. Just yesterday when Julie was cleaning up her table that she came across some photographs of when we were young. How time flies...It seems like the day before when we were playing 'pyramid game', had a pretend library membership card amongst each other and even had a lucky dip session that involves pretend money. The innocence, laughter and bonding of our yesteryears is priceless. I kinda "kesian" my youngest sis for she is brought up in a world of violence, immorality and shamelessness. Still, her surprisingly shrewd nature is a sign that she'll be at least protected from facing the brunt of realities in future.

And...
I am going to take my CERT soon...YEARGH....

the STRANGE thing about...

2006-12-22T01:49:00.000-08:00

MOTHERS...

Sighs! I do not know why but I think that mothers are strange creatures. They love their children so much that they would do anything to protect their children from hurt. Even from the realities of the world. I am so frustrated now. It seems that I want to talk to my mum about lots of things. I've always wanted to find a kindred spirit but my mum is already one. She keeps hiding stuff- things that we supposedly should not know.

I quarrelled with her the other day. I really regretted it. But, I want to be free yet I cannot. I cannot afford to make her worry or hurt her anymore. Time is cruel and each micro-second is precious from now on. If only, I knew about the importance of time, love and family. Still, time does not allow for regrets.

I am so confused. I cannot do anything. I hope things would turn out for the better. I know that I did have had a wonderful life before. I also know that life is not a bed of roses. But, let's hope that life would not be a bed of rocks from now on. That's what I do not know and cannot know.

DECEMBER RAIN

2006-12-19T19:58:00.000-08:00

Hi...woah, the weather in Singapore is really COLD. went out yesterday to celebrate OSH's bdae. actually it's a pre-bdae thingy. oh well. anyway, yesterday, 19th dec was the coldest day ever this year. surprisingly, today starts off as a sunny day. I miss gazing at stars during the night. Rain is considered a blessing since it relieves us of heat and dehydration. But, too much...sigh. You know, if Singapore had 4 seasons...the rainy weather recently is quite akin to the snowing season. the continuous and repeated rain does resemble the falling snow in western parts of the world. My brother is supposedly going to Taiwan soon or maybe the start of next year for his NS training. TAIWAN! that's my current dream destination...I suppose I should not elaborate further why is this so...haha.

I have been ROTTING at home since the start of december. Oh well. It's not that bad. Quarrelled with my family members recently. Sighs! Nonetheless, managed to start on some reading that I have been putting off since I entered JC. Actually, home is the best place ever. I mean, you can laze around without feeling guilty. No, I do feel guilty...it's quite weird having to do nothing.

Oh yah, I heard a duet by Jacky and Mindow on air at Dongli 88.3FM. Yikes, they sound good together! Why no Shaowei? I seriously think that Shaowei is an example of the perfect guy. For now at least. I mean, my criteria for the RIGHT GUY is ever-changing. But, some do remain constant. Like, the guy has to be financially secure and has to be faithful to his religion and ME!

Oh well, this post is gonna be short. I have to bathe now. And gonna settle some issues...

STUPID SCHOOL LIBRARY!

2006-11-28T01:01:00.000-08:00

RANTING WARNING!

"Today, I went back to school to ( supposedly) get my LEAVING CERT. Then, I was informed that I had a library fine!!!! The librarian told me that I did not return the book and the fine that I have to pay is $9.60! WHAT THE ****! Well, I found the book on the shelf and the librarian told me that she will verify the system. SO, I left school without the CERT. DAMN! Waste my time going to school today. "

YEARGH! NEEDED TO GET THAT OFF MY CHEST!

Ok. Well, might be going out tomorrow with my secondary school friends! HAHA! Have not met them for a long time. Guess things will change a little but I hope the friendship lasts. Oh well! I am FINALLY watching HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL. Yayness! I like gabriella and troy. They are such a CUTE couple. Anyway, I WANT a JOB! I am GONNA be BROKE soon...

Signing off...(watching high school musical)

FINISHED A's, GOT NEW PHONE, SHAOWEI's still cute

2006-11-26T18:34:00.000-08:00

YAYness! I have recently completed my A levels - damn, it is hard. It is not like O levels. The papers are all designed to challenge one's thinking process. DAMN! If anyone says that ANY paper is EASY, that person is a GENIUS! - Well, now, I have roughly 4 months to my results. YIKES or not, I have to enjoy this break. I'm not too sure what I am going to do with this "free" time I have. First, I have not much money. Second, if I want to enjoy, I need money. Third, it is not easy to find a job and besides, I am scared. ( yeah, I am crazy...whatever.)

ANYWAYs, I have got a NEW phone! Yayness! It is a Nokia 6125. Well, not exactly what I wanted but it's still different from most of the models I frequently see in people's hands. (My dream phone is one of the models from the SONY ERICSSON walkman phone range.) The features in this phone is not bad - it has a RADIO, camera, bluetooth and a MP3 player (I am still trying to find out how to upload MP3 files into the phone). But, I still like my Sony Ericsson T630. Though the screen is a little blurred at times and the system may occasionally screw up, the sleek and easy-to-use features are simply endearing. And...I bought the Nokia 6125 on 26/11/06. Why is this date special? It is three months (on the dot) from my birthday this year. YAY!

--Side comment: 26/11/06 > is also the date when I had to WALK on high heels for 4 hours. I really do not understand how SOME female species of man could wear 'killer' stillettos. I suppose, I would stick to shoes without or minimal heel feature. --

About Shaowei...(yes, the same guy from 5566 and 183club). He just finished acting in a new drama called "Rock Paper Scissors". The drama is currently screening in Taiwan and I have seen episodes till number 13. So far, I think the drama is not bad. Maybe it is because Shaowei is the main male lead. HAHA! He finally has the spotlight on him- he is always under the shadow of MinDow or Xie Zhi. Anyway, I have finally realised why there are those who do not like 5566 or 183club. Now, I do think that their singing capabilities are rather questionable, safe for a few ( Xie Zhi, Renfu and Yu Rong are amongst those I think can REALLY sing). Also, their MVs are not exactly top-notch. Comparing with the popular Korean boyband, Shinhwa, the two jungiery stars boybands I have mentioned are not even comparable. Still, no matter what, I still cannot find a/any fault with Shaowei. Julie still dislikes him-stating that he is ugly. (Yeah right, Shaowei may not score in the looks department but he has this certain CHARM that endears him as a person. Besides, his child-like antics is simply adorable.)

--Side comment--Hu Ge is starring in a new drama that is currently screening on Channel U at 7 pm. The drama is titled in english as "the little fairy". I'm ok with the plot but I would still prefer Hu Ge with Yi Fei.--

Ok, this is a LONG entry. HAHA. It has been a long time since I whined on this blog anyway. I will be finding a job soon. But, I will probably keep December as a month for my own enjoyment. I'll try to find a job that starts from January onwards. Well, till the next post then.

PRELIMS in a matter of WEEKS!

2006-07-22T02:52:00.000-07:00

HELLO!!! haha, it has been a while since i actually visited this blog...well, there are many changes in my life during my absence: I discovered a new LOVE/s, I managed to understand who are my true friends and who are merely playing up a facade, I become more desperate to MUG...

Curious about who or what is my new LOVE? haha, it unfortunately does not have any romantic links to my life. Ok, during the June Holidays, I became smitten with a new Taiwanese idol drama called "Ai Qing Mo Fa Shi" or translated simply as "The Magicians of Love". Naturally, with all my favourite shows, I would have a favourite character or couple and the FORTUNATE actor is WANG SHAOWEI or known as ERQI in the show. UNFORTUNATELY, while i managed to watch the show with ENGLISH translation on the video site-youtube.com-until episode nine, the user who uploaded the series was suspended!!! So, being heartbroken, I decided to look up on SHAOWEI online and I fell in love with 183club and subsequently, 5566. The main reason is that Wang Shaowei is in both Taiwanese bands!!!

Well, anyway, most of the 183club members are acting in "The Magicians of Love" and they are the singers for the songs of that drama. Also, i discovered that they also were the singers for the drama songs of "the frog turned into a prince" drama. In short, their songs are cool. My favourite songs from this club are "Zhe Mo" and "Mi Hun Ji".

As for 5566, I discovered that the members were actors in my once-favourite drama-MVP Valentine-. I cannot believe that Shaowei was in that show and I actually missed his appearance...(argh!) Anyway, 5566 does produce nice songs and they actually sang several English songs! Other than Shaowei, I think that Xiezhi is cute and he is such a capable singer. Renfu is not bad-his singing is melodious! Favourite songs from this band include "Boyfriend", "C'est Si Bon", "Wo Nan Guo", "Crying in the rain" and "Wu Suo Wei". Their English is not exactly excellent but they sound fine!!!

I must mention why Shaowei becomes the sole object of my fanatical obsession these days...His SMILE simply melts my heart! Not only that, his cute antics are just entertaining. He is already in his thirties and he acts like a KID!

I just realised that this blog entry is rather long. Well, I DO need to start MUGGING. Alrighty, I must log out now. BYE!

This video is extracted from youtube.com . It is about 183club performing "Mi Hun Ji" in red boxers and rabbit ears...haha...CUTE!...ENJOY!

Counting down to As...

2006-05-28T00:17:00.000-07:00

Chinese Paladin has just ended and my Saturdays are EMPTY...but, at 12.30 am ( yes, late at night), there is a xiaozhu/jolin show!!! Yayness! My current favourite singer is Alan Luo Zhi Xiang or better known as Xiaozhu/Show. His multi-talentedness is simply adorable. Nonetheless, it is rather a pity that he could not speak in English.

Well, this week that has just ended was really a bother. I was dreadfully MUGGING for my economics and GP paper. Sighs! I hope I did well for both of them. Hey, I had to finish an Othello essay alongside revision!!! I cannot imagine that I slept at five (in the morning!) and could sit through the GP exam at eight! This is still far from over...I still need to sit through History and Literature Papers after the June Holidays. (YIKES!) More mugging for me I suppose...

Counting down to A levels: roughly 5 mths...(staring into blank space & freaking OUT)

Considering SECLUSION...

2006-05-11T23:05:00.000-07:00

Today is Vesak Day and my DEAREST Lit teachers are giving us a test tomorrow. Oh well! Tomorrow also marks the last episode of my current favourite drama. (~sobs~) Enough about tomorrow. Like Zi Wei said: Life is about enjoying the moment, there is no point is worrying endlessly. The topic of today's blog is about human seclusion. I know that the topic may be a little strange but I believe it is worth considering...

A few weeks ago, I was beleaguered by problems concerning my friends at my current school. I keep having the feeling that I am not appreciated as a friend but instead USED. For instance, if friend A's friend is absent from school, friend A is exceptionally friendly to me and wants my company. On other days, I feel rather left out despite knowing they would not disagree on my presence in being with them. This feeling is not unfounded or irrational as whenever I am not with the group of friends, they would not bother asking for me. The thing is, I cannot abandon this group of friends as they are the closest companions I have in class. I realised that in life, one cannot expect companions of one's choice and would have to "go with the flow" at some point of time to "get ahead". I would like telling frankly to the group of friends I have now about how I feel but I am not prepared to commit to a serious friendship with them. It seems a little hypocritical to appear happy in front of them when I am not and I am not particularly good at hiding me feelings. Well, the world is rather hypocritical.

It was this that I thought of living in seclusion. Taoism, which in its originality, advocates individualism and social seclusion, suddenly appears attractive to me as an ideology. I pondered on how it would be like if I would leave the urban city of Singapore forever to set up a home on top of a green lushious mountain that is far away from civilisation. I would then not have to be plagued by social vices such as jealousy, selfishness, greed and so on. I realised that with society, mankind has to adapt to each other to ensure harmony and progress. But, with adaptation with others, we lose a bit of our individuality. I was really considering to run away to the mountains. I do not want to keep myself sad and depressed over friends who seek to betray or use me or acquaintances who befriend me for the sake of their own use. Nonetheless, I am held back by two things: my family and my dream.

1. My family is the only social unit in my life that I feel really appreciated. My family is the reason why I keep back from thoughts of suicide or giving up when facing setbacks. If I were to seclude myself, the first person who will be worried about me is my mother. Also, I will worry about the rest of the family. I am sure that I would miss them the most during my seclusion. I mean it...everyone of them (although I may not be close to all of them, all of them constitute the most memorable moments of my life and I doubt no one else could replace them)

2. My dream in this life is to have a HAPPY family of my own and to prove myself to be a SUCCESSFUL person. Living in the mountains would need me to abandon this dream. I would not leave this life feeling regretful that I have not achieved anything.

Well, I may consider this idea of seclusion when I am old and useless. I believe that at that point of time, I would be disregarded by society and my family members will have their own happy enough lives to lead to be concerned about me. Till then, I would have to try living with the society. The society whose members lead double lives to keep up with social expectations and yet following their inner desires.

Also,

I wish to include that I am grateful to all those true friends of mine who would stay by my side and never fail to brighten up my days.

Yun Ting - Thank you for your frankness. You made me realised that life is not a bed of roses.
Soon Ying - Thank you for your willingness to listen to my rantings and your worldly advice.
Indah - Thank you for being the best Malay classmate and friend. Your presence in Malay
class during Secondary 3 and 4 made Malay classes my favourite.
Kai Tian - Thank you for being the patient listening ear and my super-active partner in Secondary two. Your liveliness never fails to put a smile on my face!
Osha - Thank you for your willingness in listening to my blabberings for hours! Haha! You are indeed a fun person to talk to. I long to have another long conversation with you on the phone.
Khee Hoon -Thank you for appreciating and understanding me for who I am.
Zi Wei -Thank you for accompanying me on my lonely days. You never know how much I
appreciate your company.
Rubez - Thank you for pointing out my faults and making me grow out of my once-naive
perspective of the world

To all those FRIENDS whom I have not mentioned, thank you for being there in my life and making it less mundane and monotonous as it is. In conclusion, I end this entry with this quote dedicated to all my friends:

E. B. White:

You have been my friend. That in itself is a tremendous thing. I wove my webs for you because I liked you. After all, what's a life, anyway? We're born, we live a little while, we die. A spider's life can't help being something of a mess, with all this trapping and eating flies. By helping you, perhaps I was trying to lift up my life a trifle. Heaven knows anyone's life can stand a little of that.

Charlotte, "Charlotte's Web"

hanging on a WET, SLIPPERY thread

2006-04-28T01:56:00.000-07:00

hey there! Hah, im on my ninth post! yay! Im currently in love with a new CHINESE song by the band F.I.R. It is titled 'Wo Men De Ai' - apparently it is a 1999 hit song. My mood is currently not VERY GOOD so this post will be about RANTS...(haha)

...RANTING starts...

Arghh! I cannot study at HOME. Well, I USED to be able to but now I cannot. Recently, my youngest sister has been TRANSFERRED to use my toilet. The consequence: my toilet is PERMANENTLY wet and is at risk of being MESSY. *sighs!* That is not too bad -- Chinese Paladin is FINISHING in THREE weeks time!!! Arghhh! To add on to the bad situation, CT is in another THREE weeks as well!!!! YouTube is also not giving me any relief of this situation by stalling their site for some checking. (so SUPER sad)

...RANTING ends...

Random summarised rantings:

-an old man scolded me for nothing when he was alighting the bus because I was blocking the exit...HELLO??? the bus was CROWDED!!! and there was no other place to move!!!

-I tried drinking coffee. well, i did not want to CORRUPT my brain with caffeine so I drank the Dutch lady vienna coffee which is supposed to be more milk than coffee. Apparently, there is no effect...well, must try stronger coffee...I keep SLEEPING when I get home from SCHOOL!!!!

-CTs is IN 3 weeks!!! (yes, I mentioned it earlier....can't I mention it again!!!!)

-I have not finished my CW essay!!

-I need to calculate the duty hours before Miss Lee SCREAMS at me...

- I NEED TO REVISE MY WORK...SOMEWHERE....NOT A FAST-FOOD RESTAURANT...

- Why can't SINGAPORE libraries accomodate study rooms for us students????

Well, that's about it...I suppose...(continues ranting offline as it is time to end blogging...)

"six month's rain"

2006-04-17T02:21:00.000-07:00

liu yue de yu

Yi chang yu ba wo kun zai zhe li
Ni leng nuo de biao qing hui rang wo shang xin
Liu yue de yu jiu shi wu jing na li
Ban sui zhe dian dian di di tong jing wo xin li
Woo~ ohh
(Wo bu)... xiang xin ni bu shi gu yi li
Ni que wei he ba wo diu qi zai feng yu li
(Wo bu)... ren xin ye bu xiang bei pan ni
Wei you wo neng deng ni hui xin zhuan yi...
Wo mei you fang qi ye bu hui li ni er qu
Na pa[sounds however like 'nau'] yao fen kai
Wo yi ran deng ni
Wo quan xin quan yi deng ni de xiao xi
Zong hui you yi tian
Ni hui xiang xin wo...
Wo ai ni
Yi chang yu
Zhe[shang] nian ni
Zai wo de xin zhong
Dou bu yao mei ni...wo..(yeh)...
Ni zou wan...zen me dou yi qing xiao shi zai feng yu li

(yi chang yu...zhe[shang] nian ni...wo ai ni...wo ai ni)

REPEAT from top

Hey!!!! 8th post! Ohkay, well...it has been a hectic weather lately. This morning, when I was CONVENIENTLY having pe lessons, the sun was scorching HOT! The whole afternoon was HOT until about nearly 3.30pm...raindrops began to fall and soon it became a heavy downpour of rain. Sighs! It has been raining for the past few days...Anyway, I am too preoccupied with schoolwork to be affected and the weekly CHINESE PALADIN will cheer me up...I've found the hanyu pinyin lyrics for liu yue de yu song be Hu Ge. (Yayness!) "liu yue de yu" is actually translated to "six month's rain", not "june rain" as interpreted in the MV I placed on my first blog.

I have seen the ending of the show already on www.youtube.com. But, I still want to see it on television. No, I want to see the full uncut version which is rumoured to be 40 episodes long!

This particular show unlike my other favourite Chinese dramas makes me feel a sense of enlightenment. The show seems to highlight the message that love is forever and true love is one that can withstand obstacles and looks beyond appearances. Also, the message that friendships are everlasting as long as you are able to understand your friends and they, in turn, understand you. Sighs! What a meaningful and entertaining drama!!! (smiles to oneself)

My other favourite Chinese dramas include:
-Huan Zhu Ge Ge (1 and 2 only; part 3 is rather sad and not-so to my liking)
-Eternal Happiness

LALALAALLAALA...I'm so HAPPY....Ohkay, I will sign off now....

Speaking with a SLANG...

2006-04-15T03:15:00.000-07:00

hey! 7th post. Woah...progressing...I think that there is something wrong with this blog of mine. There is so many pop-ups of advertisements! Sighs! I had Gavel meeting this morning at 10.30. Apparently, my first prepared speech of this year, Project 3, has received unfavourable comments: there is this person who wrote that I should not speak with a SLANG and others wrote that my topic was too "cheem". I DO NOT speak with a SLANG! Well, the topic of my speech was PERVERSITY - I guess that is RATHER cheem. (whatever...*rolls eyes*)

I found out a website that translate the "Shao Nian" song!!! "Shao Nian" means youngster in Chinese. ~Yayness!~

Hanyu Pinyin
ni you xiang qi mo ge xia tian re nao hai an xian
ji yi zhong de na ge shao nian jiao ao de xüan yan

shen chu shuang shou jiu neng yong bao qüan shi jie
xiang xin suo you de meng xiang yi ding hui shi xian
yi qie kan qi lai dou bu hui tai yao yüan
chuan yan zhi jian guo ji nian

qing fu de yü yan dou yi man man chen dian
ji shi nan mian hui bian de gen jia xi lian
wo men bu cen tuo xie

na shi wo men dou hui bu qü de cong qian
xin hao hai ke yi jian chi dang shi de xin nian
shi jie chang shi gai bian
dang chu de na ge shao nian

na shi wo men dou hui bu qü de cong qian
dang ni zhan zai na ge xia tian de hai an xian
wo men hai shi xin li mian
na ge pian zhi de shao nian

English Translation
You thought of that summer again, the bustling shorelineThe youngster within my memory, an arrogant declaration

Holding out my two arms I could embrace the entire world
Believing that all the dreams would come true
Nothing seemed too far away
In the blink of an eye, how many years have passed

The drifting language already slowly submerges
Even if the inescapable becomes more refined
We haven't compromised yet

That is the past that we can never return to
Fortunately we can still continue believing in the faith that we had
The world attempts to changethat original youngster

That is the past that we can never return to
Once you stood on that shoreline that summer
Inside our hearts we are still
those stubborn youngsters

COURTESY OF: http://sr.silent-mist.com/male-wongmichael-shaonian.php

Also, I found some VALUABLE info online about "Chinese Paladin": (haha)
-the opening theme, "Sha Po Lang" is sung by this brother and sister pair called JS.
-the ending theme, "Zhong Yu Ming Bai" is sung by Dong Li Huo Che.
-the 2 other songs, "liu yue de yu" and "xiao yao tan" are sung by Hu Ge himself.
-there's another song, typically known as YueRu's theme, entitled "yi zhi hen an jing" is sung by this popular taiwanese singer named Ah Sang.

That's all for now!!!

SICK & STRESSED OUT

2006-04-05T02:28:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my 6th post! I am sick! Yikes! I thought I could hinder myself from the surrounding disease and illness that is spreading. Anyway, my sickness is not the common flu or HMFD, instead, my stomach hurts like hell. Probably I have a serious case of GASTRIC. The last time I had a gastric attack was last year during the fasting month.

Oh well, I currently have no mood to do anything. My DEAR school is planning all sorts of make-up classes, remedials and consultations just to prepare us for the A levels. This friday, there is the LIT assessment whereby I have to complete an essay by 1 hour! Also, I need to see Mr Reynolds because my Othello essay is somehow not unanswering the question and is CONFUSING to be marked. (whatever!) Tomorrow, there is econs extra classes. I am so not prepared for the As.

I guess I shall ask my schoolmate to study with me after school. Somehow, I cannot seem to discipline myself to do work at home. I need a TIME-OUT!!!

Okay, I shall soon end this post. I need to do my homework! I need to eat/drink:
-yoghurt
-fruit juice
-fruits
-quaker oat bars
-BREAKFAST, LUNCH & DINNER
*the above four items are intended to heal my CRYING stomach and the fifth item is to ensure that I would not get this STUPID illness again*

RAIN!!! Wish-List!

2006-04-04T02:38:00.000-07:00

HERE is my 5th post!!! YAY!!! It has been raining heavily for the past 2 days! Worse still, there are clear flashes of lightning and booming thunder. The roads are practically FLOODED. Sighs! I love visiting youtube.com! The website's so cool! I almost wanted to sign up as a member but I do not have any video-editing skills to enable me to contribute. Well, it is not like contributing a video clip is a prerequisite for membership. I thought that being a member of a community that shares their video clips creation and not contributing but merely enjoying the video clip is similar to being a non-member. I shall learn to video-edit and create my own video clips!!!

MY WISH-LIST!!! (practical or not; in no order of importance)

1. To be a PRINCESS! (My mum made me bathe with flowers today. It was supposedly beneficial to me. Whatever! Nonetheless, it made my day! After all, in the olden days, it was the royalty who could indulge in such an elaborate bath!)

2. To learn CHINESE and HINDI! ( well, I originally wanted to only learn CHINESE as I am passionate about the language. I wanted to learn HINDI as it is becoming an economically-viable language and besides, HINDI hunks are CUTE! *smiles*)

3. To get a psychology degree and further on a masters (I am really interested in taking this subject! However, a mere degree would not enable me to have a good job in future. I need to get a masters in that subject which is only available overseas!! Waaaaa-aaah! My mum says and orders that I should not leave the country till I'm married!!! YIKES!)

4. To achieve happiness without having to seek it

5. To open up a business dealing with the food industry

6. Lastly, and the most practically, to do well for my A levels examination.

To end of this post, I will leave a reminder to myself and those unwitting "blog-readers" to eat more VITAMIN C and FRUITS to boost the immune system. There are so many different diseases and illnesses cropping out from nowhere. To name a few are the bird flu and the HMFD.
`Cheerios!!`

NICE SONG

2006-03-31T10:25:00.000-08:00

HAHA! Heard a nice song with a NICE MV on "chinese paladin" on www.youtube.com! YAYNESS! However, I don't know what it means. Someone, please help me translate!!! okay, end of fourth post! So sorry for the short post as it is already two-thirty in the morning! HAHAH!

Shao Nian Michael Wong (Wang Guang Liang)

ni you xiang qi mou ge xia tian
re nao hai an xian
ji yi zhong de na ge shao nian
jiao ao de xuan yan
shen chu shuang shou jiu neng yong bao quan shi jie
xiang xin suo you de meng xiang yi ding hui shi xian
yi qie kan qi lai du bu hui tai yao yuan
zhuan yan zhi jian guo le ji nian
qing fu de yu yan du yi jing man man chen dian
ji shi nan mian hui bian de geng jia xi lian
wo men... bu ceng tuo xie
na shi wo men du hui bu qu de cong qian
xing hao huan ke yi jian chi dang shi de xin nian
shi jie chang shi gai bian
dang chu de na ge shao nian
na shi wo men du hui bu qu de cong qian
dang ni zhan zai na ge xia tian de hai an xian
wo men huan shi xin li mian na ge pian zhi de shao nian

This is the MV from www.youtube.com!

PERVERSITY & MAN

2006-03-30T00:21:00.000-08:00

HEY, I am on the third post already! YAYNESS!

Yikes! I am in trouble: I have not finished a LIT assignment that's due a month ago and my LIBRARY president is pestering me for the minutes. I am so DEAD! Okay, not dead as in DIED but in deep TROUBLE. I also have to complete a LIT essay by tomorrow!!! Oh, before I forget! HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY TO SOON YING!!!

Life issues aside...I had Miss Lee's Gothic Literature lesson on tuesday and we did Poe's "The Imp Of the Perverse". What interest me about the story was the intricate elaboration of the idea of PERVERSITY. Quoting from the book:

"We perpetrate them merely because we feel that we should not. Beyond or behind this, there is no intelligible principle: and we might, indeed, deem this perverseness a direct instigation of the arch-fiend, were it not occasionally known to operate in furtherance of good"

WoW! What cheem language we have there! Anyway, Miss Lee went on to say a normal example of perversity in everyday life: the fact that girls would not directly tell their boyfriends the reason behind why they decide to not talk to their boyfriends SUDDENLY or want a breakup. This is so similar to Ling Er and Li Xiaoyao's situation in "Chinese Paladin". Although I love the two characters together as a pair, Ling Er persistence in pushing Xiaoyao away from her without telling me directly why is rather IRRITATING and IMMATURE. Also, Yueru's rather nice to Xiaoyao so they are better off together. Well, I personally admit to be PERVERSE. haha. I mean, I know I need to complete a certain assignment before a STATED deadline but I would procrastinate and worry (at the same time, IRONICALLY) until the day before the deadline and then start doing the assignment. SIGH! What perversity! Miss Lee herself conducted an example of perversity in class that day rather nonchalantly - Ariff was asking a question and Miss Lee, instead of answering the question, throws back the question at him for him to think of an answer. Isn't that PERVERSE? Ariff OBVIOUSLY was unsure and therefore he questions and Miss Lee had to do quite the opposite of answering the question! HAHAH! Mankind is FULL of SURPRISES! Gothic LITERATURE IS fun!

Before I end, I just discovered a NICE and MEANINGFUL song! It is by SIMPLE PLAN. I originally wanted to insert the music video but my DEAREST sister wanted to put it up at HER blog. Well, the song is after all HER favourite and the band is also HER favourite. ENJOY! The bold phrases reflect the situation of my life

(verse 1)
I woke up it was seven
I Waited till eleven
Just to figure out that no one would call.
I think I got a lot of friends
But I don't hear from them.
What's another night all alone?
When your spending every day on your own
And here it goes ..
Chorus
I'm just a kid and life is a nighmare
I'm just a kid and i know that it's not fair
Nobody cares cause im alone and the world
is havin' more fun then me tonight

(verse 2)
And maybe when the night is dead
I'll crawl into my bed
I'm staring at these four walls again
I'll try to think about the last time
I had a good time,
Eveyone's got somewhere to go
And their gonna leave me here on my own
And here it goes
I'm just a kid and life is a nighmare
I'm just a kid and i know that it's not fair
Nobody cares cause im alone and the world
Is havin' more fun then me
What the hell is wrong with me?
Don't fit in with anybody
How did this happen to me?
Wide awake I'm bored and I can't fall asleep
And eveynight is the worst night ever
I'm just a kid (just a kid) x5
Im just a kid and life is a nightmare
Im just a kid and i know that its not fair
Nobody cares cause im alone and the world is ..
nobody wants to be alone and the world
I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid, i know that it's not fair
Nobody cares cause im alone and the world is
Nobody wants to be alone in the world
Nobody cares cause I'm alone and the world is
Having more fun than me, tonight
I'm all alone ...
tonight
nobody cares...
tonight
Cuz I'm just a kid, tonight

FRIENDS AND BETRAYAL

2006-03-24T18:27:00.000-08:00

This is the second post. Well, basically the time that lapsed between the last post and this, I have been cheated and played by a FRIEND. Sigh! Also, there have been instances where I have conflicts with certain friends I LOVE. Double sigh! Anyway, I believe that conflicts are meant to understand and bring two people together...Hope that my belief is not a mere assumption.

I shall play the IGNORANT fool and heck care about the above issue. I have been HURT too mant times ALREADY. Well, I have observed that my skill in my mother tongue language is getting rusty. Just now, in class, my classmate asked me for another word for 'menjayakan' and my mind went BLANK! I do not mind if I could not give a proper word but I could not even muster one up for suggestion. YIKES! My sis, the older of the two, apparently had to write out a ten page novellette in MALAY. (evil laughter) I could not imagine another more torturous assignment. So, well, I decided to write out a paragraph in MALAY about my current feelings. The paragraph obviously going to be 'JIWANG'. Oh well, I cannot alter the fact that I am rather dramatic and sentimental today. Enjoy the paragraph - if you know how to understand the language of course.

"Hatiku sedih bagai dicarik binatang-binatang buas. Masih adakah harapan untuk aku mencari teman yang sejati? Tidak! Mungkin, harapanku ini tiada kesedarannya dalam dunia yang fana ini. Aku kini pasrah akan perjalanan takdir hidupku ini. Namun, diriku ini tidak akan kalah kepada takdir – aku akan berusaha tidak akan membuat diriku yang sudah merasai kekecewaan untuk mengulangi perasaan yang menghancurkan jiwa ini."

CHICKEN - a necessary evil?

2006-03-17T21:56:00.000-08:00

"This is the first post of my second blog. Well, this blog is specially created to chronicle the last few years of my "teenage-hood". I will be eighteen this year and yet I feel so inadequate and small. Maybe, I am just lacking in confidence or maybe... Life is always full of maybe-s."

I have been thinking about one particular food lately. It has been making headlines in the media and will be having a substantial impact on human civilisation. Well, I am referring to chicken. Around the world, the avian bird flu has been claiming victims recently. Apparently, my mum is quite nonchalant about the news as my DARLING little sister LOVES to eat chicken. - I cannot imagine how she could stuff herself with chicken for twice or thrice a week!!! I admit that I used to love eating chicken but too much of it has made me rather nauseous eating chicken more than once a week. -

I was thinking that if there was to be a bird flu pandemic (a major worry amongst the great political powers around the world) and chickens and other feathery creatures should be annihilated, what consequences would it have on the human population? Firstly, there would be a major change in our food choices. Look, we would not have EGGS and CHICKEN. - I presume that the chickens in this world are made extinct by the current massive culling movements to prevent the spread of bird flu. - EGGS are the MOST IMPORTANT ingredient for cakes, omelettes, cookies and more...(well, I cannot think of more but I am sure that eggs are rather important in our food intake and one of the most frequently eaten food). CHICKEN, on the other hand, is well-loved by many. We drink chicken soup when we have a cold and relish fried KENTUCKY chicken. I really wonder what would have happened in a world without chicken?

Before I end, I am currently in LOVE with this chinese series " Chinese Paladin" and this is my favourite song. This is taken from www.youtube.com